How To Help Your Growing Child Cope With Stress And Worries?

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What is Stress?

Stress is synonymous with the word tension. Anything that gives you tension causes you stress, be it emotional, psychological or physical strain. Stress is not restricted to any particular age group, however, it is true that it is more common among adults but that certainly doesn’t mean that a young child cannot be under stress, and to our disadvantage children might not even realise themselves that they are stressed or what is stressing them out. Therefore, it is our responsibility as parents, to keep an all round vigilance on them and remain watchful towards the slightest change in their behaviour. 

Common Behavioural Traits Of Children Under Stress

  • Clinginess 
  • Tiredness
  • Restlessness
  • Mood swings
  • Hyperactivity
  • Increased aggression
  • Lack of concentration
  • New or recurring fears

How Can We Help Our Children?

To adults, childhood seems like the most carefree time of life, which is true but things like school, social life, approaching exams create a certain pressure that can be too overwhelming for kids at times. It is impossible to shield them from stress but helping them in difficult times would solve all their problems.

A child’s response to stress can be both healthy and unhealthy. Although they may not initiate a conversation about what’s bothering them, they do want their parents to reach out and offer support.

Here are a few tips: 

Notice when something’s off – Communicate with your child when you notice changes in their behaviour, express what you think it could be but be very mindful of your words and tone. For instance, instead of saying “Why are you still stuck on it?” try saying, “Why is it bothering you so much?” Avoid making them feel bad about it, be sympathetic and try to understand them. 

Listen to help – When you ask your child to share their troubles, it is vital that you listen to them with an open mind. Listen to understand, not reply. Be attentive, empathetic, caring and most importantly be patient. Don’t cut them off midway and start giving your solutions. The goal is to let them know that they are being heard. Encourage them to share more by asking important questions such as, “And then what happened?” or “How did you react to it?” Let your child know that what they’re feeling is okay. 

Label their feelings – Many kids do not understand what they are feeling or find it difficult to identify their feelings. If you find your child frustrated or annoyed, label their emotions to help them develop emotional awareness. The ability to do so reduces kids’ chances of reaching the behavioural boiling point where emotions are expressed through behaviours rather than verbal communication.

Find ways to distract them – If there is a particular problem that is causing them stress and anxiety, discuss things that could help them de-stress. Play the role of a silent partner and let your child think of ways that could help them. Ask them why and how they think a certain solution would be beneficial to them. Encourage them while keeping a close watch. 

Inform school authorities – If there is something at school that is troubling them, speak to your ward’s class teacher in order to make sure that your child is taken care of. Children spend most of their daily hours in schools, it is important that the school is made aware of their wellbeing. This not only eases your tension but also ensures that extra attention and care is given to the kid. 

Last but not the least, just be there. Kids do not always open up about their problems and that is alright. Your support and presence is sometimes all that matters. Keeping them company, spending time together might lift their spirits. The sight of your child unhappy or stressed hurts, but resist the urge to fix everything. Instead, try to help your child grow into a good problem solver – a kid who can face life’s ups and downs, express emotions, and bounce back after a setback.

Having said that, G.D. Goenka takes pride in their trained and talented faculty who have been building a healthy environment. We are also taking the necessary steps to reduce overstress, be it in forms of exams or carrying heavy textbooks or extra co-curricular activities which otherwise acts as a motivation booster.